"There would be those small moments of calm, kind of like the eye of a hurricane, where we’d get some good news. But then, you’d never know exactly when the winds could pick up again. It was unpredictable."

MAGGIE VALDES BUTERA'S STORY

We were young, deeply in love, and just getting our life started together. Brandon, someone I had loved since our teenage years and reconnected with after college, had some inexplicable symptoms, which eventually led us to a shocking kidney cancer diagnosis that would consume the next few years of our time together. We were immediately swept into a whirlwind of surgeries, treatments, and hospital stays, managing a delicate balance of doing everything we could to fight this disease while still finding time to spend with each other and our loved ones. In the midst of it all, we got married; not even the chaos of cancer could keep us from making this commitment to each other surrounded by our most important people.

After growing up together in New Orleans and making our home in Houston, we were used to unpredictable weather that came with living in the Gulf South. So, when I think about the experience of caring for Brandon, his passing, and my ongoing grappling with grief, it feels just like a hurricane of memories and emotions. The good and the bad, the beautiful and the painful all at once… These memories are always there, always on my mind. At times it can feel overwhelming and simply be too much to hold on to. But then, at the same time, I never want to let go. I continue to grab on to every piece of my life with Brandon that I can, so that the best person I’ve ever known is never forgotten.

Losing Brandon in such a painful way was an untimely fear realized – before we even turned thirty – and I just want to live every day to the fullest, as we had always done and fought to do in his final years. As life moves on, Brandon’s memory slipping away into time is where my biggest fear lies these days. I’m dedicated to spending as much time with my loved ones, raising awareness for this disease, and doing everything I can to keep Brandon’s memory alive.