“My dad loved outdoors; we wanted to do all of the things he wanted while he could. I still treasure being in nature.”

TORI LARRICK’S STORY

I was lucky that my parents were straightforward, honest, and open about my dad’s cancer diagnosis. I still remember the look on their faces when they first told me and my younger brother; it was a look I’d never seen from either of them before. They looked lost and rudderless when they were typically such pillars of strength and knowledge. I knew from that moment at our kitchen table that everything would be different. Over the next 11 months, we camped, road tripped, and traveled as much as possible, together, as a family. We lived as much life as we could with my dad while he was still with us, and to this day one of my favorite places to be is in nature, sleeping on the ground by a fire in the outdoors; it’s these moments that I find a lot of peace in my life.

When I think about the trajectory of my life since then to where I am today, it’s kind of crazy to envision my 14-year-old self being dragged by my mom to the “teens with grief” group counseling. I really didn’t want to go. But something changed when I attended that first grief counseling session; it was the first time I felt understood in my grief. It was hard to find that kind of support at school or even with my closest friends. The experience of losing a parent to cancer, at my age, was one I’d felt completely alone in.

Despite all my initial resistance, I gradually became more involved and eventually co-facilitated the grief counseling groups, finding a deep sense of fulfillment by helping others work through the loss of a parent, sibling or other loved one.

And who knew that my initial resistance would eventually lead me to where I am today, to a career in patient services. In my current role with the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN), I focus on the day-to-day lives of people with pancreatic cancer – the same cancer my dad passed from – and how our team of case managers can best help them navigate their new world of doctors’ appointments, scans and treatment. I often think about all the people we’ve helped along the way, and it gives me the chance to reflect on my own story of healing and the strength it took to get here. I am so proud to live my life in the service of others, and I’m deeply in love with what PanCAN continues to provide.